We've got a little problem here.

If you've never seen a commercial for Florida's Natural orange juice before, you can just skip this. Actually, due to the wonders of modern technology, you can see one just below these words:



In any case, they have this whole advertising campaign based around the premise that you can just reach into your local grocery store's cooler units and then mysteriomagically have your hand end up in some orange grove in Florida where the juice is more fresher and more naturaler and considerably more Flordianable.

This campaign is ridiculous.

1) How can they possibly maintain all the equipment used to process and package the orange juice outside, in Florida of all places. If the rain doesn't get to you, and believe me, it will, then the humidity is certain to gum up the works. Then what? Further, I don't know when the last time you drank hot or even room temperature orange juice was, but it's not all that great. Who are we trying to kid here?

2) In every single commercial they air, the premise is the same: There's no damn orange juice left on the shelves. In the above example, the stock manager is freaking out because he's got no juice. In other commercials, there are literally fives of people looking for their juice, and it's not on the shelves. Why would a large national juice company be willing to publicize, no, to PROMOTE, the fact that they have extraordinarily shitty inventory control? Especially with this hand porting to Florida technology they seem to have. Might be time to rethink the corporate strategy, boys and girls.

Gimme a shout, I have very reasonable rates, and as you may have already read, I'm super kick-ass.